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Whether we are focused on healing our bodies, healing our society or healing the planet, we are being asked for a different sort of courage. This courage is being ask of all of us, from child to elder, from laborer to manager, from humble to wealthy.

This courage differs from the courage of the lone fighter, the hero risking death to save loved ones, the individualist going it alone to the heights of success. The courage to give yourself in death for what you believe has changed the world yet it is an unsustainable courage and it paralyzes growth and healing. Only by developing a courage steeped in nurturing, love and openness can we hope to heal ourselves and our world.

This different courage is about looking inward, rather than outward; about facing the demons inside our heads that may not lead to individual death but definitely lead to the death of human potential; about finding solutions that include and support even those we disagree with; about creating rather than destroying.

It is a question of expanding a woman’s natural instinct

Women know this courage in the context of their personal communities because of their biological charter as generators and nurturers of the human species. Their first instinct is to save and protect life within the bounds of their “circle of caring”: family, tribe, culture, religion, nation. This instinct to save, to connect, to nurture is the source of a new way of seeing and solving problems and a new way of experiencing the world. In this nurturing instinct we have the building blocks to create a new humanity that can achieve its genius in harmony with nature and each other.

What we must do is expand this instinct beyond the “circle of caring” and develop its potential into tools, beliefs, patterns of engagement and unconscious governors of our actions. This uses a different kind of courage that is willing to open, to include, to love, to grow, to change, to look inward to make a difference outward.

Can we shift a primal instinct?

In order to expand the nurturing instinct beyond the circle of caring we must address what is most scary about reaching out to someone who is outside the circle and thus is categorized as “other”. When we go beyond the boundaries of “us” into “them” we automatically wonder: what if their success is a threat to my existence? If I include them can we both survive? The thoughts are so scary that we are generally unaware that we have thought them and we unconsciously make the decision to protect our existence by denying them theirs. For what is more frightening to the mind than non-existence?

When I am assured of my survival then I can easily reach out to help others. When my survival is in doubt then my response is to close, to protect, to create barriers between me and the “other”, to take a stance of “me first” and create reasons why my survival is more important than theirs.

The basic questions are:

1. Am I willing to develop the courage to hold my fear of non-existence at the same time I reach out to care beyond the circle?
2. Am I willing to develop my self-concept so that I can respond from a place of openness, love, inclusion, and growth?
3. Am I willing to use my new courage to open my eyes to the development of my potential and that of humanity’s?
4. Am I willing to use my courage in the service of mindful questioning–questioning everything, from the place of heart and soul?

Drop me a line if you are curious about how developing your courage could make a difference in your health, your life, your world.

It took me decades to realize that women prefer a group approach to doing just about anything. We love cooking together, watching the kids together, doing projects together, eating together. We even go to restrooms together! It also took me decades to realize that working with group support was more fun, more creative, more powerful.

I now enjoy mastermind groups for my business, workout groups for my exercise, walking groups for my dog walks. To be sure, I spend a lot of time thinking, being and doing on my own. However, when I need a breakthrough, when I need the support that is going to carry me over the hump, when I want to celebrate my progress, I turn to another powerful woman or group of women and we all get on the horse together to ride into the sunset.

I’m not opposed to inviting men into these groups; I’ve just found that many more women than men are comfortable in that space of unconditional support, collaboration and win-win thinking. My hope is that women will make a bigger effort to create these powerful experiences for their sons so they have a chance to model a different way of interacting and experiencing community.

So where are you? Still on the horse by yourself? Think about how you can add powerful support to your endeavors, especially your business. Going it alone only serves to postpone creating the thriving business and life that you truly desire. Share your journey now; don’t wait until you reach your destination to find your community.

He talks about what to do when we feel that fear in going forward with our business. Very well worth the read. And if you want to learn about writing worthwhile e-zine articles, Michael is the man to go to.

To subscribe to this newsletter, send an email with your request to: ContactUs@BluePenguinDevelopment.com

Yesterday, I helped some eager-to-change women entrepreneurs create valuable shifts in their lives and businesses by dissolving behaviors that no longer served them. The shift was simple, painless and powerful and most importantly quick!. One women created more productivity in her business, another greatly improved communications with her spouse and a third brought her eating habits in line with her healthy self. The change took all of about 20 minutes.

Get the recording of my Free Teleseminar: “Are You Ready to Swiftly Create a Core Success Breakthrough?”, here and let me know how your breakthrough is transforming your business and life.

Change your beliefs and you change your reality. It is that simple and very often that easy, if you have the right tools.

We can think about our behaviors as being mobilized by all the beliefs we have. When we think that some behavior is important or unimportant it is because of a belief we hold about that behavior. The action we take in our lives is directed by the beliefs we hold; not by will power, common sense or discipline. Will power, common sense and discipline are the results of beliefs, rather than mysterious entities on their own.

Beliefs act as filters for the enormous (and I mean enormous) amounts of data that come through our senses both externally and internally. Beliefs are used by our conscious and subconscious minds to decide what is worthy of attention and what can be dropped on the cutting room floor, so to speak. It is in this deciding what is worthy of attention that our reality gets created.

So we have beliefs determining what we act on (as well as how we act) and beliefs filtering what we perceive of the world. We can also add that we use beliefs to interpret the world, i.e., create the meaning and story that is us and our lives.

I use to work with a gentleman who was paralyzed from the waist down and had difficulty moving his arms and fingers. He was a small man and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. When I first met him and learned what his health challenges were, I thought what a tough life. After about a year of working with him I learned that he was an accomplished bird watcher and took exotic trips every year
looking for rare birds. He enumerated his travel locations and I thought I’ve got two good legs and arms and I’ve only dreamed of going to those places.

This man believed it was possible for him to do these things and that it was important for him to do them now, not in some future dream time.

Is the business you want off in some future dream time? Are you believing that “it’s going to take years and a lot of hard work to get what you want”? What opportunities are you missing? What advice or coaching have you dismissed as useless? Where have you stopped acting when continuing would have brought you success? Where would you be now if you had consistently taken action since last year? Do you believe that if you could just find that last secret, you’d be successful?

Are you ready for a different experience? I mean really ready? Stay-tuned I have something in the works for you.

Most of us, I think, would say ‘yes.’ I expect Donald Trump would definitely say ‘yes!’

Yet it seems that so many women entrepreneurs make just the opposite assumption about themselves. If they were to become highly successful in their businesses they would no longer be themselves. And they might even start using their money and success for evil purposes. Think about it. Do you somewhere deep inside believe that your success, particularly financial, will be the undoing of your soul?

#1 Secret to Creating and Enjoying a Successful 6- or 7-figure business
Believing you will be, at your core, somebody different than you are now is a limiting belief of huge proportions. This belief, in all its forms, leads to people playing small with their gifts, denying they have something powerful to share with the world and a refusal to receive anything in return for the gifts, sometimes even compliments.

The flip side is also limiting: that you can believe the same things and behave the same way as you do now and get to the vision you have for yourself.

So the secret is: intentional, guided growth of yourself. What I’m talking about is the intentional and guided growth of the internal you. Are you effectively getting more of what you want in the world (is your business growing in the way and at the pace you want)? Is your personal evolution going in the direction you want (do you sabotage your success or do you hesitate to take action to get what you want)? These things can all be directed to the outcome you want by the intentional, guided growth of yourself.

If you’d like to try some intentional, guided growth, check out the exercise below.

Exercise:
Find a place that is quiet and where you’ll be undisturbed. Put yourself in a calm, relaxed state by doing some slow, relaxed deep breathing, letting all the tension and stress flow out of your body. Do this for a few minutes until you feel very relaxed.

Next, think of a specific goal you have for yourself: landing a new contract, 5 new clients, a successful talk or workshop. Something that is concrete and that will happen in the near future. Imagine reaching that goal in just the way you want. Put in imagery, sounds, feelings, colors. Make it a motion picture (there is action instead of everyone being frozen as in a picture) and make sure you are seeing everything from your eyes (rather than seeing yourself in the motion picture). Get into the feelings of having successfully completed that goal in just the way you want.

Now, notice how you have improved by reaching that goal. Notice your increase in confidence and competence. Hear people complimenting your on your accomplishment of the goal. Notice that you have learned things that will make accomplishing your next goals, easier. Notice how you were up for the challenge of this goal.

Practice this visualization regularly as you work towards your goal. You’ll find yourself being drawn to the goal and more creative in addressing the challenges you encounter on your way to the goal. And you will be intentionally guiding your internal growth towards your authentic self.

This month you’ll get 31 posts on the topics of limiting beliefs (their cause, effect, and what to do about them), change, human excellence, and how all of that determines your success with your business (or anything else in your life). Stick around if you would like to learn the secrets to creating a thriving 6- or 7-figure business.

You’ll also get quick tips about dealing with limiting beliefs and resources if you want to pursue something in more depth.

I’m really looking forward to this challenge and I hope you’ll come with me for the ride.

Tip #1:
Language is the fastest point of entry into learning about your limiting beliefs. When we use phrases like: I can’t, I shouldn’t, what would people think, … always happens, … never happens; we are displaying the results of some of our limiting beliefs.

Try on some of these constructions instead:

I can’t => You are making a choice here. State what you are choosing to do instead of what you “can’t do.” Notice that at this moment in this context you are making this choice. At some other time, in some other context you may or could make a different choice.

I shouldn’t, what would people think => These are a case for examining what values are being violated and whether they are your values or someone else’s. If they are your values, be clear and make the choice. If they are someone else’s values either make them yours and make your choice from there or let them go and make your choice from your values.

Always, never => These words shut down your brain to choice. They make a black and white world for you that prevents you from experiencing and expressing the true richness of our world. Recognizing you have Choice is the key to creating what you want.

Try out these language changes and watch for the changes in you. Leave a comment letting me know the shift you experienced.

From this belief comes the idea that to market their business, they must be someone who is capable subterfuge and deception. BAMM! The personality that is suppose to do marketing collides with who they really are and they decide they will create a successful business without marketing or selling.

Well it is impossible to create a successful business without marketing and selling and anyone who tells you differently is lying to you. Whether you are directly connecting with people who want what you have or your clientele is doing that connection for you, you are marketing and when someone gives you money in exchange for your services or products you are selling.

So what do you do about the belief that marketing and selling are dirty?

First, realize that marketing and selling are processes that allow you to make your dream come true, i.e., impact in the world the way you want through your business. They are tools for the realization of something that is very important to you.

Second, realize that you can go about these processes in any way you please that also gets you the results you want.

You are making your dream come true by being your authentic self and connecting with people who believe your products and services are the solution to their problems. Then for a fair exchange of money you are providing them with that solution. There is NO deception here.

In fact, the only way this version of marketing really works is if you are willing to boldly stand in who you truly are and connect with people from there. The sincerity, honesty, and willingness to be of service whether that benefits you monetarily or not, is what will get you the results you want from your marketing efforts.

Make your marketing your mirror
Reflect who you are and what you value and all those who align with your values and like what they see, will connect with you. Of those, the ones who need their problem solved in your fashion will buy from you. By being your authentic self and connecting with others in joy and integrity you are creating the world you want to be a part of => another definition for marketing.

• procrastination,
• inability to focus,
• racing from one “how-to-market” course to another in search of the magic bullet,
• letting every little breeze distract you from your marketing?

May I ask how you do that? If I were to be you, how would I know how to start procrastinating? How would I know that it was time to distract myself with something (say, a breeze)? This is a very serious question.

From the inside it looks like things are happening to you. All of a sudden you have to check your email or do a little web research starting with FaceBook, make a post on Twitter, read a post on Twitter. Then you notice the time. OMG, I need to get dinner ready!

From the outside it looks like a person who has difficulty focusing and staying on task. The outsider doesn’t see any of the urgency you feel. Yet those feelings are real, right? You have a thought, a feeling and you go with the flow. Sometimes you go with the flow before you even know you’ve had a thought.

You’ve got sole control of your mind. You are the one who lets ideas and beliefs in and the one who is in charge of getting rid of those that no longer serve you.

Anonymous quote I like: Others can stop you temporarily, only you can do it permanently.

So, how do you stop yourself from taking action?

If I were to be you for a day, how would I know how and when to distract myself from marketing? Is it a voice, an image, a feeling, words? What would I have to call to mind so that I could keep myself from taking action and moving forward?

Try out this exercise. When you notice you’ve distracted yourself, stop and think about what you were doing, thinking and feeling before the distraction. Listen for voices, look for images, see or hear the words, locate the feeling in your body. Now, actually describe out loud what someone else would have to do to get the feelings and thoughts that distracted you.

Next, ask yourself these questions:

• What would happen if I stopped that loop of thinking? What would be possible?
• What could I think about instead that would move me forward?
• What is the thought I must think that will move me towards what I want?

This exercise may take a little practice to find the answers. You may become aware that you’ve distracted yourself hours or days later. Keep practicing.

If you follow through you will learn what has been going on in your mind behind your back, so to speak. You will identify the cues that send you scurrying for a distraction, a way to put yourself to “sleep” so you don’t have to feel what you were on the verge of feeling before you distracted yourself.

This is powerful medicine. You are recognizing your beliefs that are sabotaging your creation of the business you want and the expression of yourself in the world. Awareness is the first step to a breakthrough.

Let me know the ‘aha’ you get from doing this exercise. Email me at drlik@beliefbreakthrough.com